What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

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Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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My children are huge mistakes.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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