the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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Chinese drivers.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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Why do those Indian people have that dot on their forehead ? Idk but it makes a good target.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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vaginas

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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