what do you call a gay guy Ej

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thumbs up!

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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What is white black and Chinese A panda

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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