A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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Why did the jew die Really...

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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