what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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24!

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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