Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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