- Anti Joke

have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

whats good about poland... fukk all

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

knock knock how there me ok come in

Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.