A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock. come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

69

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are black people ghetto? Because they are black.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops