A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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The cow went moo

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What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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A blind man walks into a pole.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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