Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

thumb_up thumb_down -7

so dont touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Deadly cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

eloise dey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

thumb_up thumb_down -9

you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

shea kisses a girl

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops