A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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Where's my baby??

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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The BCS

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops