Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Your existance.

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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knock knock who's there interupting black woman interu- MMMMHHHHHMMMM

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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Women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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