When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

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What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Woman Rights

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Mike tyson

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What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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