How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Womens rights

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Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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IMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooodfssgihsfdiug

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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knock, knock come in

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A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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Well educated black man.

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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