Hgiugsf s8dyfgc sdyhgd©•øˆ????ª•†®???ßßs cdiug dvyg 34t5 fd87 vrry utgg erug 46 5gtyrue fVTU? Tree.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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