A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Where's my baby??

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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