I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Joe diragi is gayer than elton john

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem makes no sense FIRETOE!!!

What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

What's 9 plus 10? 19

But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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