why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

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What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Woman Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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