What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did so many white people vote for obama? They strongly believed in what he had to say, and believed he was the right person to lead our country during its troubled times.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops