Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

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A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

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whats long and green? weed

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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Nickelback

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops