What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +38

There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Mike tyson

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops