Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Lil Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops