A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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