Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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A black guy is lying on the floor dead with a knife next to him, what killed him? Multiple bullets sprayed from an uzi being held by a rival gang member....

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Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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