What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? His mother threw a fridge at him

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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what do you watch ? a tv

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Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

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What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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knock knock who's there interupting black woman interu- MMMMHHHHHMMMM

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops