What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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colby doesnt shave

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

Once upon a cross

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

What's the difference between a North Korean and a South Korean? Nothing, they're both chinese.

Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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