A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do u call a apple a apple

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the child step on a ball?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was danielle so fat? She can't help her bad genetics

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What just hit my face? The floor

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +28

so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops