What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +31

It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops