Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is better than a cat? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Your mamas so fat. She fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why does Logan Cole beat off to Yo Gabba Gabba! ? Because Tim Tebow.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops