Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A white man, a black man, and a mexican were stranded in a giant dessert, They were quick to notice the spelling error and ate happily for a few days

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You smell like shit

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops