what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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I have a crush on my dad.

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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guess what? chicken butt.

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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