Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

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Hello

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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