Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Heartlight

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +41

You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Snausages.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops