what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Busted? What the hell is going on?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

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Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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