What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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AVB

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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