A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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AVB

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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