Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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