A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A joke were created last night and was so funny! But this is not the case

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

thumb_up thumb_down

Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Paperclip... BANANA?!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

yeah..

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

a man died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops