A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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whats a dexter whats a died? HaHaHaHaHa Im so so funny

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Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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9/11

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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