What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

69

Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

Mitch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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