whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

matt shut up

Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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