Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

matt shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

N

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -134

What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

thumb_up thumb_down +51

what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

thumb_up thumb_down -61

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down -112

whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops