How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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Wanna hear a joke? Joe Jonas.

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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NASCAR

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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