I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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knock knock who's there aids

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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What time is it? 10:58

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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