A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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How do you get a black person to drop chicken? Yell KKK.

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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