What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

That's not what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

thumb_up thumb_down +25

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happended to the family in the hurricane? They died stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down +21

hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off. haha its funny

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops