What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

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I'm banging your sister.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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I tell an anti joke!.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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