Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

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Hgiugsf s8dyfgc sdyhgd©•øˆ????ª•†®???ßßs cdiug dvyg 34t5 fd87 vrry utgg erug 46 5gtyrue fVTU? Tree.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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I'm banging your sister.

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how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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