Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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Melbourne Football Club.

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why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Iggy Azalea

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Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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thermodynamics?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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