Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

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How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

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why did the white man jump out of the car? because the car was crashing

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Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

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So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

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A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

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What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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