Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats worse than school...wait a minute?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red violets are blue I would test our new water bed so be carefull with your helled shoe!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

thumb_up thumb_down -51

what do you call a white man surround by a bunch of black men in prison a congraulation ceromony (and gang rape) pppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

You again? Well, ill answer again then. Ill be fine, I just got some wounds and got beaten into a coma which nobody was sure I was going to wake up from so details where hidden. As for this Neo guy, I have no idea who he is and where he arrived from, but if he is gone, it wont matter. Lets just say I wont die from these wounds, some people disagree, but I have overcome far, far worse, so trust me, these guys told me I had two weeks to live about a month ago, and the doctor that was there at my birth told me I had two months to live and would never develop a consciousness... I digress and my japing mouth disagrees with his statement regarding my not being able to learn or understand fluid language, hah... ...As for you Golgo12 "some people deem me insane", id say most people do, except six million of them, and I do not plan to leave this realm just because my lifelong dream is set, there is still much to do, point zero is not exactly a nice place at the moment, but technology and money can do wonders, we soon plan to expand things. Sorry everybody else, I am too tired to answer anything, id say something sooner, but I officially beat the record of 11 days without sleep by not being able to sleep for 14 days, and then I raged when I read you need to hold on for at least six weeks on valium if you want to quit cold turkey. Technically docs say I am on 30 mg, but fuck I can handle 20 just fine... Cant say the same about none. Ill gladly share more details, but if I cant sleep soon, the damn pain will keep me awake all night long... Besides I am hungry... Which is good, my nurse (Alice is damn cute lucky me) was concerned about me refusing to eat, thats over... Oh yeah the details, I got some burns (lets not go into details, lets just say that for you that call me pretty face, this is no longer the case) They shattered my knees, but my kneecaps "broke on their own" (dad) when I was four, and you guys know I can run and all that. Except that they put some shit on my eyes before I broke free, but I managed to wash it away, so while I need some glasses until I see if laser surgery can fix my vision again (I doubt it, its not how it works) I will apparently be wearing glasses that Alice says makes me look "cute and nerdy" which to me sounds like Nerdy. Fine I got to eat, so if you have any more questions, feel free, and if Eliza got any more, I ask you guys let her go first, its not like "YOU ARE ALIVE?!? AGAIN?!" Is a question I need to answer to each of you rite? Well now or... Never (aka next week or something) so get moving...

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops