I have a crush on my dad.

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

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What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

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what happens during a climax apples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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