Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

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Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

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my shift key is broken1

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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Melbourne Football Club.

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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