knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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Knock, Knock. Come In.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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If you analyze this joke closely you' ll realize its not funny.

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What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

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Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

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Answer The Following!! Q: How Do You Kill Bee?? Q: What Do You Call A Bee Who Live In America?? Q: Why Don't You Give Elsa A Balloon??

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Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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