How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

If u wanna get high, smoke weed

Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

wood cant chuck wood

What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

Roses are red, Violets are purple

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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