Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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What happened when the black guy looked up his family tree? He discovered long-forgotten relatives who had lived during difficult times for African-Americans in the United States and faced disenfranchisement, extrajudicial killings, and chattel slavery. His sense of racial consciousness and solidarity was thereby reinforced.

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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Where's Waldo? Nowhere. Waldo is a fictional character. He doesn't exist.

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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Soccer...

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Goku: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Freezebox: HOLY SHI... Narrator: Will Goku ever finish his attack? Will Freezebox stand there like a fucking bitch afraid for the next 48 damn epiodes rather than take a step to the side? Will the "Zee" fighters ever do anything else but comment the trucking obvious and stop aborting the show with their sweat? Find out in the next episode of... Moral: DRAGONBULL ZHIT!

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

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she wasn't 18

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops