You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

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here is Stevie Wonder's poem: sjkgfhdujduehfheuefeufhhf uefuefg eufbejfbefehfehutuge' wiohl;wreohqweiothurelwueths sjtghekltrhlsdifhlziurhlsiurhtwoli

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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